There Are Good Days and Bad Days and Just Days

The secret's secret
Delves below the milky surface
Into the depths of my inadequacies
Amongst the crumbs of warm chocolate chip cookies
Cat hair covered pillows
and your gentle witticisms
whispered into my ear with a laughing smile
This liver has been split in two
and the growing back
is the most painful part
I begin to look inside
because I can't make it heal faster
I want to know, but it disgusts me
Where have we fallen to, a place beyond the best parts of ourselves
I'm still falling,
Falling upwards,
Jump out of the ferris wheel when it reaches its peak
Onto the pavement grounded
...but not until I reach inside myself
and feel the fullness of my liver
Reprocessing the process

Selbstmord

Clear
Clarity
A single leaf falls slowly dancing, in the wind.
Elegance

Can this circle be broken//?
I fall knowingly to my death
and the most amazing parts of my life become apparent

The single, overwhelming
sensation
of
feeling
and being
L
O
V
E
D

To(esday)

and if there's a lesson
that's meant to be learned
and if there's a reason
that i've been spurned
and if there's a waterfall
beneath the diamond sky
and if there's a renegade
flying by and by

then i'm amongst the living
I have climbed through the gates of hell
and Hades no more controls me
I emerge from the depths of the well

Pale Blue Dot

That tangerine sunshine
Transcends into fluorescent porous
Experience
and I am transfixed by the simple tear
sliding seductively down your cheek
until it finds a home in the crevasse of your lips
and reenters the devine something-ness
that is your body.

Oh, to tempt the sunshine godess of
silver underlinings,
pained translucent awkwardness
and a dirty pillow cased
covering a filthy pillow.

Funny how the orange light
makes you seem even more human
less like the envisioned memory
I have of a Tuesday morning,
waking up to the mirror that was not myself.

Smoke flies and love dies and all these small niceties
are suddenly trapped
on this tiny periwinkle dot
that houses and delouses
find and discomforts
salts and slides
across the permeable membrane of my body
into the void that is
and continues to be
the void that is me and is also
without me