Dream Journal

Jan 27. Live cats in a display case. Some big, some small. Some were dying and malnutrition had set in, others were fine. I thought about selling them in a big Internet ad, and the room they were in was really dirty. I fed the kittens solid food but they needed their mothers milk. One mother looked really sick. They all looked like Moll or Anna except for a few that were ginger and white, with pale eyes that looked confused.An East Indian man helped to clean the room the cats were in and he did such a good job I thought about asking him to come back every week to clean. But I realized he wasn't a maid, he could have been my landlord. A man that could have been a different man or maybe not came and said he would take care of the cats, but he took the sick and the healthy ones. He put them all in a box that went into a red firetruck. And I knew they died or were going to die and I was sad but I felt a tinge of relief because the house would be clean and I felt the strange contradiction of guilt and relief shake hands inside me.  And then something else happened but my mind left me.